Monday, October 24, 2011
I was able to air out my sentiments on my relationship. I'm partly relieved. I don't know how he will react as of yet but I guess I have to face the consequences now. Haist its sad.
Posted by Paulo Dromilo Suello at 6:59 PM
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I can't sleep and I was trying to air out my feelings in a medium that I know only very few people would be able to read. Right now I feel confused and sad. Confused because I don't know how to deal with my relationship. Sad because I learned that some friends are only there when they need you. I wish I could just unfollow and unfriend them in facebook or twitter.
I wish its that easy to let someone go when you know they need you. Its really difficult and depressing to know what to do but not have the courage to act on it. The price of happiness is too expensive. I just don't know what to do.
Lord, please help and guide me. I need to see what should be done or at least just let me be a spectator in my life just this time because I don't can't muster the courage to face this decision
Posted by Paulo Dromilo Suello at 12:30 PM
1 comments
Friday, April 15, 2011
Just to scream this out of my heart
To start this is a free flowing message straight from my heart. I'm writing this just to realease that depressing thought that has been lingering in my head for days now. I have been feeling really low and useless for no reason at all. If you will look at my life you'll find that everything seems to be fine and the people around me are all very supportive.
I just don't know why I always feel that emptiness inside. I wish I can cry for a reason and for a good one. I want to fall in love again and go down on my knees and beg someone to give that love back. I noticed that my heart has grown really hard and it seems that I'm unattracted to almost everyone. Yes, I feel that sudden surge of libido at times but it always dies down.
I feel jealous because my friends found their partners already and I haven't. Am I ugly? hayyy???? what am i looking for? What do I want in my life? What will make me happy? I hope that I will find some answers in my sleep. I hope that God will show me the way and give me the courage to face whatever it is that I need to face. If I'm doomed to live my life alone then I have to deal with it. I just hate the feeling of waiting when there's no one to wait for.
Posted by Paulo Dromilo Suello at 11:22 AM
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Sunday, April 03, 2011
What will happen tonight???
Right now I'm busy washing my clothes and it's funny to hope that someone might come over and help me.
hahaha! I really hate washing but I guess I have no choice. I need to do this. I just wish that I have someone to talk to while doing it to keep me preoccupied while waiting for the machine to finish. Otherwise I'll die early because I'm smoking to fill in the gaps.
Yesterday, my
officemates and I went to
REDBOX. I didn't find it fun. It was dragging and boring. I don't know why. It's not usually like that but it was. Maybe because Lei was not there. We miss Lei, he is a little distant recently, perhaps it was his illness that makes him gloomy. I pray that he will be better.
Later today, I will try to go to the church and then watch movie after. People were talking about Sarah Geronimo and Gerard Anderson. They say it's a great film so I'll try to catch it later...
Till
next time!
Posted by Paulo Dromilo Suello at 1:38 PM
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Thursday, March 31, 2011
You can't have it all...
For awhile now I have been hoping that
one day someone will come and sweep my heart away. Apparently, he must be sweeping someone else or caught up in traffic. I have tried searching on dating sites or even push my luck on random meet ups but it all failed. Well I guess because it was not my idea of love. Maybe because I still believe in serendipity.
My career now is at all time high, financially I'm good. My family has never been better. My friends are growing in numbers. BUT, that big BUT is that one thing that I wish will be added in my life.
I hope
SOOOON... I'm getting tired and impatient... I'm losing hope at this one arena that I always fail... LOVE
Posted by Paulo Dromilo Suello at 11:13 AM
1 comments
Sunday, March 27, 2011
The truth about today...
I never thought that some ties can be so loose and empty yet still remains strong for quite a period of time. Today I met some old friends and I felt so distant. I could not even figure out why I was there after all. Perhaps it was my stubborn attitude wanting to rekindle that friendship and my eagerness to know if I managed to still have that popularity within the group. To my surprise, I'm still popular and well loved but the topic of discussion... was there a topic???
hahaha I guess if there was I missed it because it was not worth remembering.
Tonight was a realization that some yesterdays are better seen in pictures. I would have rather stayed in bed and browse some old photos online and reminisce because the good days indeed passed. We grew up and we grew apart. Sad fact of life.
After the stressful night I decided to
unstressed myself, I went to
Wesha and tried relax.
Apparently, it was not relaxing at all. I did not know that they were cleaning the place so there was no sauna, no jaccuzzi and no food left. What a grand way to close the day right?
Yeah!
Bad day!
Posted by Paulo Dromilo Suello at 5:25 AM
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Monday, January 24, 2011
When I see you again...
Why am I so stupid? I should have approached you when you were looking at me that night! I so hate myself for being such a coward! Now all I can think of is turn back time and go back to that Sunday night. I can still perfectly remember what you were wearing and how you applauded when I sang even if I barely hit the notes!
I hope you noticed that I tried to return the favor by applauding you when you sang on stage. Did you notice that?
At least I got your name Jay. I assumed it was Jay because when you stepped out with that girl you were with someone said, Bye Jay. I hope I will meet you again and if I do I will be brave this time around. I will not chicken out. Just please show me some sign again and I'll take careof the rest. hehehee!
You were wearing black long fashion sweater with black pants and shoes. Your eyes were round with long slender body. Exactly my type. Hayyy!!!
If I'll meet you again I will let yu read this pathetic note! DUHHH!!!
Posted by Paulo Dromilo Suello at 4:59 PM
1 comments
Monday, November 01, 2010
Pest and Prey
Around 4am the dawn was about the break but the sun was hidden by the early morning sky. I could hear my stomach growling and I knew I have to feed myself before I decide to sleep. I put my shorts on and headed to the nearest store. I noticed that most stores are closed then I thought yeah-it was All Saints day, people are probably busy in the cemetery while I'm here at home just enjoying my regular weekday off.
It was drizzling outside and I didn't bother trudging my way without any umbrella. honestly, I didn't notice it. The last meal I ate was the late lunch I got from the fridge so I was pretty determined to satisfy my hunger.
I got myself some instant noodles and while on my way home, I saw a cat who seems to have something in his mouth. I only realized after getting a little closer that he caught a rat and toyed with it. He wasn't munching the dying rat but simply letting it suffer in his mouth to death. I was thinking, what a brutal way to die! Now the pest is the prey!
Posted by Paulo Dromilo Suello at 4:33 AM
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Tuesday, April 13, 2010
Bright new day! It has been awhile since the last rainfall. Good thing today I woke up and it was drizzling outside. It's very refreshing!
My bestfriend uploaded our Galera pics in facebook and I enjoyed reminiscing the trip. I decided not to load the photos here to free some internet space. So if you want to check it you can add me in FB paulosuello@gmail.com and check Ryans album. I don't even want to load it again in my own FB. I thought that would be redundant. I'll upload my solo pose or those that I super like but the rest I'll leave it in Rye's folder.
@italian resto in Galera
Me, Rye, Anton
Just a thought: Friends are way better than lovers! I once tried to mix both but it didn't blend too well. Friends are friends and lovers are lovers, it can't be both. I guess it has something to do with the commitment.
It's time for breakfast everyone!
Enjoy your day!
Posted by Paulo Dromilo Suello at 6:53 AM
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Monday, April 12, 2010
It's been awhile since I wrote something here. I was thinking what would be a perfect topic to discuss. This blog started as a movie blog then it evolved into a diary and then into a love story that ended into a documentary of my bitter life...
I would like to change that
Starting today, I will document the great events in my life. Things that I would love to look back to when I get a little older.
Today April 12, 2010
Look at the tarantula crawling towards my neck. I was scared but enjoying it. It's my forst time to hold a huge spider! It was fun! I'm thinking of buying one for myself
Posted by Paulo Dromilo Suello at 11:21 AM
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